HeartBreak----Shola's story

                                        
    


I always wondered why people contemplate suicide..When they say people have suicide tendencies I keep thinking that's one of the impossible truths in the Word. Not until I became a victim did I realize the truth that had been staring in my face all month long.

Suicidal thoughts are real.

 Mine came in the form and face of the greatest evil ever created,A pretty young woman named Elsie..I stand at the edge of the bridge,gathering up the last ounce of courage I have so I could take the leap of faith to meet death,Slowly I let my mind draw back to that faithful day,under the Mango tree that I met my Angel.

      Twas was like it is said in the movies,A feeling beyond what words could explain,There she was ,walking with the wind,Even in the midst of her three friends,she stood out,like a sore apple in a basket. I was tongue_tied,I thought do angels still come exist in human forms?She saw me staring and smiled,then made a yuck face at me. I lowered my gaze in embarrassment and fixed my eyes on an invisible spot on my shoes as she walked by. Then I heard a voice behind me,saying ,"Will ya rather stare at your shoes all day or say hi?I was surprised and lifted my head and there she was. My heart skipped a bit,my palms went sweaty,and I nearly piss myself,All I could muster was an inaudible stutter of hiiiiiiiiii. She smiled at me again and walked away while shaking her finger at me.

    Trust me,I couldn't sleep that night,Never had I met a lady that could render me speeches.. I spent the whole night researching on things to do,what to say,how to go about it,where to start from..Series of stuffs floated on my mind as I drifted off to Sleep. The next day,I waited at d same spot,but she wasn't there,same for the next and so on,I was checking out d hangout on the 5th day ,and still no show.

I had already given up and was walking towards my car when I heard that sensual sultry voice from a distance,The voice of ma dreams,the sweet tormentor of my dreams whisper,Did u enjoy waiting and Searching?

Once again I was tongue tied..She knew I was looking for her,She knew so she stayed away,making me pine for her. Right there I decided that She was a prick tease and I told her so.

She just smiled and introduced herself. I asked her out to lunch and told her,I just needed her in my life..She gave me a Yimu and said what should she do with her Fiancée?..My heart broke into thousand fragments,yet she was laughing....I should have noticed the warning lights from how she was just turning my switch on and off..She gave me an elbow and said she was just kidding.

   That was the beginning of the best 3 years of my life,We won the best couple award,Best Relationship,Best dressed couple,etc....After school I asked to meet her folks but she declined saying her dad was a retired major, who would shoot my balls off..We kid about it,I took her home,introduced her to my moms as my wife to be...My moms asked her to bring her folks so we could make things formal. And that's when things went down the drain..

    Elsie became a changed person after that,She started avoiding me and I couldn't even fathom what I did wrong,Finally she told me we Needed to talk,I went to her house,To find my baby in tears,what moved her to such I couldn't even begin to think. Then she broke the news..She was pregnant,two months late..It was tears of joy and we both embraced each other once more and I left to break the news to mom,The next day we went to the hospital to start her checkups,I was strutting around like the alpha male. I felt more in love with Elsie for this gift she gave me, Finally we could probably go to meet her parents,Maybe its just koboko her dad will use and no Guns since I got his daughter preggies and I was ready to marry her.

So with so much joy in my heart,I called my friends and we all went to our spot to hangout ,taking on much booze to celebrate my Good news. Maybe if I had just stayed home that day,Maybe just maybe I wouldn't be standing at the edge of this bridge wishing to jump. That was when I met David, David was invited to come celebrate with me by my good friend Thomas.David,didn't know the occasion or me either,but the pull of women and wine brought him that fateful day.

In the midst of the celebration with so much pride,I showed him my Wife's picture and he just slumped..We rushed him to the nearest hospital and that was when I heard the story of my life.

My fiancee was his Elder sister,I found that hard to believe since Elsie said she was the only Child,

I wasn't braced for the real shocker and when it came,i couldn't handle it .

Elsie my Love was a replica of his sister also named Elsie.

She died in a ghastly motor accident 3 years on the Benin-ore road.

I did my calculation,it meshes with the time I met my Elsie.

I was astounded and called my mom who said Elsie just got back from the hospital,already made our food and was relaxing in her room,We all Rushed to my place and My moms was surprised,We opened the room and their was no sign of Elsie, I showed dave the pictures I had and he showed me the one he had in his wallet,it was a perfect match.

We checked the whole house and their was no sign of her...Oh my God,What have i been dating ? ,I burst into tears,while people tried consoling me,I had lived and loved a dead person for 3 years.

It was then I remembered she had my Baby in her Womb.

Retribution ..The Final Acts of an Apostle

                          

JEREMY
   She disgust me,she thinks I am a saint,I hate her. He kissed her,that dumb jeremy had to kiss her and even had thoughts on copulation! with her,the thought drove me Mad. The dumb fool wanted to make me impure with coitus. I was smarter, I beat him to it...I went back to the car and picked the axe, made a decision to just end it right there. Then I saw that she forgot her shoes and shawl in the Car. Picking them up I walked slowly to the door, lifted a finger to click on the bell when the Door pulled open..She was full of smiles to see me at the Door, I lifted my hand to show her items and then pointed to the hand that held the Axe. It took a few seconds for it to probably register,She opened her mouth to scream but I hit her square across the face. Closing the door,I proceeded to give them their final offering. She was alive when I severed first her arm from her body,Then the right leg,I made a incision on her tummy and cut her clean ,opening her up watching her intestine and organs spill out,she let out a soft moan and I knew she was going to give up,I plucked out her two eyes and replaced them on the two nipple point. I stood up to take a final look at my handiwork,Smiling in satisfaction because I was so sure I had reached the zenith inside of me,I felt a feeling ,it was close to pity,for here lies a woman with great potential and I just snuffed the Life force out of her
    With a shrug of my shoulders,I Closed the door,proceeded to walk down the alley,when I heard running footsteps,I took to my heels ,My flight took me to a fire escape,which I climbed on to find a lucky window open. I peeped into and saw her at the phone trying to call 911.Right there I knew what I had to do. She walked towards the fridge to get a drink which gave me ample time to creep in,take out the cable of the house phone and wait till she dialed while grinning behind her. Suddenly she paused and I knew she had felt my presence turned to face me,then she screamed .
    Her last thought while she screamed would probably be why did I have that satisfied smile on my Face ,just one swoop and it was over .I looked deep in her eyes as the life force drained out of it,till the light faded,taking in the moment,feeling the power I had,the power I had over all of them .I sat down to chop her into little beautiful pieces, when I heard a loud sound, I felt something warm between my shoulder, I thought it was her blood, then I heard a second bang. I coughed, spitting out blood in the process. My mind registered it late, I turned and Saw him, a smoking pistol barrel in this deathlike grip, I faced the dead woman, lifted my head and looked at the room a second time, the clothes thrown about, it was then I realised she wasn't alone..I had made a mistake, I had forgotten about the feet in the alley, I totally ignored the picture on the desk, and the fact that this Woman wasn't alone ..In my Rage for another kill, I acted rashly..These were the last thought on my Mind as I fell on the carpet and Went Blank..






Police officials are still at wit ends trying to explain the events of the night and its occurrence, The Gory sight makes many make the sign of the cross and even pagans call on one form of Supreme being or the other..Civilians were waiting for the news to hit the daily times,but since it wasn’t the first of the Petal stalker, the sights didn’t amaze or surprise them.
  The events of the night spills out to different parties in different way's the civilians a sense of relief that there would be no more kidnapping or killings in this form and that they can finally walk with their mind at rest,To the police ,Enormous pressure relieved from their shoulders to put an end to the mysterious event that has been happening,In general we could agree that Finally the feeling that justice has been served is at the tops of everyone's mind, a feeling common to everyone except a distraught Steven who couldn’t believe Chloe was gone, With one look at the police and detectives on the scene, he walks away with a smirk on his face and the murder weapon hidden well in this cloak.

Retribution B...........i see you

Chloe

I2.55am. There was tales that it was the witching hour but it’s always hard to believe in heresy There was an eerie feeling sweeping over the whole house and Goose bumps crawling all over our bodies. Yes our bodies were glued together in throes of ecstasy, our moans and intensity of lovemaking was breathtaking. My fiancé Stephen was in town and we were catching up with sex. I have so much missed this feeling and poetry of our lovemaking. Nothing ever distracts us when we were in our Sensual world yet all that could not dead us to the Cold shriek we heard that tore into our subconscious and the maniacal laughter that followed...We managed to sneak out to the window to get a look and the ally was dark as usual, Stephen took his pistol, checked the rounds and despite my pleading, decided to go scope out the alley. I locked the door and after waiting a while decided to pick my home phone to call 911. Feeling a great urge to have a drink, I went to get a bottle of water. On my way back to the phone, I heard a scratching sound which I ignored, I picked up the phone and dialed 911, I was asked to state my emergency and then the line disconnected. That was when I first noticed the stench and the Strong smell of blood filled the room, I turned and there he was, so innocent and handsome. Then he smiled @ me and lifted his hand and I saw the Axe I let out a blood churning scream and my whole world went dark.

Stephen

 I was so happy coming home to Chloe; I have missed her so much. There is no other Woman who makes my heart beat with anticipation than Chloe. God, I am so in love with her. Got an early break from Iraq and flew home. Home is where the heart is and Chloe is everything I have and more. Right there we were making love so late in the night like we loved doing, doused in each other's sweat, the passion sky rocketing when I heard it, I increased the intensity of the lovemaking, but it still pierced through and from the way Chloe stiffened her body, I knew she must have heard it too. So I opened my eyes and saw her looking @ me. We disentangle our body and I reached for the drawer where I kept my service pistol. She tried to stop me but I kissed her and told her everything would be alright..Then I opened the door and walked the alley, looking for what could have let out such a scary sound. I heard running feet, I turned and braced myself to shoot, but there was nothing. Then I saw her and despite all my experience as a Captain in Iraq, despite all the mutilation and death I had seen, that could not stop the dizziness and nauseating feeling that came over me. This was total mutilation.

    What remained of a once beautiful woman was nothing but limbs, bones and sinews. What kind of heartless entity would do this? These were the thoughts running amuck in my head when I heard a second scream this time louder than the first, and it registered, that was Chloe's voice, oh my God, I prayed as I started running towards the apartment. Not my Chloe, Please Lord. I heard the faint sounds of sirens in the distance. Jesus please, not my Chloe.

Adam

I was on the night shift at work when I heard a scream. It was a chilling scream, the kind that makes your heart stop and the maniacal laughter that followed...I instantly knew he had struck Again. Oh why couldn't he be caught? Why can't anyone come up with a plan to catch him..? Yes I knew who he was, but I couldn't bear to come forth with the information. I have complicated things right from the first murder.   

 This would be d 25th and yet no one knows who The Petal Stalker was except me. I just concentrated on my work knowing the next day the details would be over the news...He was very good, but he believed he was not flawed. I schooled him, yes I taught him everything he knew, even I myself was lucky I found salvation and was able to resist the pull, you always hear them buzzing in your head, telling you what to do, I was lucky to be redeemed. I turned my attention to the lovely lady in front of me, she had a lovely smile, the kind that attracted me, her skin felt soft when our hands touched and I handed the items she bought to her, she smiled again and against my wishes, the Buzzing in my head took over and I knew it has started all over again.

Retribution..... A.

Doctor Sanders.

               I was very happy when he asked me out to dinner; he never deserved what was happening to him. There wasn't much he could do about it, and I never could betray a patient doctor relationship and have him incarcerated. My reasons, very selfish and personal, one was because he was so full of life and handsome, he was a good talker and careful listener. I found the role reversed and i telling him more of my inner demons than his. I believed the murders and act he said he had done were impossible and all imaginations. How could a young man like him do all that? He was so pure, very meticulous in all he did; I must admit I fell in love with him at first sight. Today is the final session of our 6month counseling program. I believed by asking me out he was better and changed and ready to move forward with his life. Here I was waiting for the bell to ring, all dressed up and looking good for the occasion. He came right on time and we went to a 5 star restaurant on the Sea side. A very lovely candle light dinner and we shared so much over that meal than we had in 6months of therapy. It was a bright moonlight evening and we decided to take a walk on the shore. Hand in hand, toes in sand we played like kids, he stopped and moved a runaway hair on my face, the moon illuminating his face, then he kissed me, It was the best day of my life. He was such a gentleman. I was in different minds as to how the night would end, but I knew deep inside of my thoughts were little ideas of how to get him into my bed tonight.  Looking at the time I realized it was getting close to 1am. Thank Goodness I didn't have to work tomorrow. I asked him in and he declined politely, said it was for best for me for him not to come in, then he kissed me again and said goodnight, he left and I leaned back against the door thinking there goes another one. Resigned to my loneliness, I noticed I was without my shoes and shawl. Shaking my head at my high school girl giddiness, I stood up to open the door to call after him, then I heard the bell ring, Oh he must have found it, I thought,. I opened up, took a look at his face only to realize he was crying, I asked if everything was alright and then I noticed the glint in his eyes, the weird smile on his face and When he threw back his head and let out a throaty laugh, I started getting scared. he lifted his hand to show me my shoes and shawl and pointed to his left hand, that was when I saw the Axe.. I screamed OMG!!! Stop, No please, Even as the door struck me in the face and I fell on the floor, I still couldn't believe this was happening to me, I thought I understood him more, I thought he just successfully negotiated a trying time, i guess I was wrong. Yet I know He isn't the monster they say he is, that he is capable of love and compassion, and Also I was sure that I would always love him.

JEREMY

They told me I would be free, all they needed was just one more. It never ends, they keep asking for one more after each one. So tonight I decided to throw them a party. I asked her out earlier in the morning .She was kind to me but she broke the rules. She knew who I was, yet she treated me like I was a Saint. I had 24 to my name. I was as popular as the president and yes as insignificant as a drop of water in the ocean. But I was a celebrity, albeit an unknown one. So we went out, had dinner and played on the beach. The way she ran on the sand and I chased her reminded me of numbers 2, 15 and 24 when I struck the final blow, I wanted to do her right there, end this pain and suffering. Then she stopped and turned to face me giving me a sweet smile. It stopped my heart, all thoughts of what I planned to do to her tonight go out of my head. She was the only one who tried to understand me, never called me crazy.

Right there I broke my rule, I broke their rule. I kissed her; It felt like there was a synch in our soul. Right there I realized I could and would never lift my hand to touch her. I looked at the time and realized it was getting close to the time they usually take control of me. I rushed her home and she was thinking I was doing that because I wanted to get into her bed, gave her a kiss and she invited me in, which I refused. I had to get far away from her before it began. I got to the car and saw she forgot her shoes and shawl, I ran to her door to give it to her. Then I went blank…they had taken over

Addiction 2

                                                

           I had seen the beauty in his soul, and knowing what lied within the walls of his insecurity and fear, I could not give up. He was simply too magnificent, and I wanted to free him, to be the key that unlocked him from the prison I knew he was in. I knew that once he realized that I was true, that he could trust me, and that I was everything he could ever want and more, our bond would be invincible.

               As our relationship progressed, he gave just enough, but never enough. He was constantly searching for a reason to doubt me – going through my things, and thinking that I was lying to him about where I was when I was away from him. It was a game he played. One minute we were close, and the next he was accusing me of betrayal and lies. It was agony for me, as I was powerless. I could not control his faulty beliefs        But I wanted to. I wanted more. I craved his touch. I lived in the memory of his caress, and the ecstasy that went along with it, and I could not give up my attempts to win him over.
                  I wanted to prove to him that he could trust me. I wanted him to give me that feeling of complete and absolute bliss all the time, I needed to feel his love, I craved it, and it ached in the deepest way.
I surrendered to his power. I gave him control, and he took it, greedily, and used it to hurt me.
I did everything he asked. My entire existence revolved around him, and earning his love.
I made sacrifices on his behalf. I worshiped him, and I laid down my life to serve him. I gave up everything. All I wanted to do was be with him, for him to touch me and make love to me as i had always dreamt of and imagined.

               But no matter how much I gave, no matter what I did, it was never enough, and he still couldn’t trust. Without his trust, he couldn’t love me completely and he held back from me the love I had felt before. I felt rejected, and it hurt. I was deeply pained, and broken-hearted. This caused me great sorrow, as I had truly done it all. I did all he wanted, yet he still didn’t believe that I was faithful, that I loved him.
What was I to do?

                                                                           
           He was all I had, as I gave up my family and my friends for him. I sacrificed time with my children, had given him money, gift, clothes, drugs – and my love – all of it went to him. I had nothing left, and still neither he, nor I was satisfied.

         I became depressed, miserable in my present state, yet he no longer provided refuge. I was desperate, and I was draining slowly to empty. I could feel the life seeping from my soul. I had lost myself in him, and was floating alone in a sea of despair.

         He thought there was something wrong with me, and said I was crazy.It was always a turpsy turvey relationship,one moment he was the reason of my smiles and the next the cause of excruciating pain.He certainly had my number and could dial me up in ways he wanted and leave me hanging to fall into an emotional abyss of my own making.I so desperately wanted him to be there for me.

              He is like a chameleon,acclimating to each situation and enviroment,not giving much to it but taking in all it has to offer ,then if it gets bored,it moves to another .Slowly his love for me turned to hatred and it was obvious from the moment he changed from saying I love you to just Love you.Call me crazy ,even as written as those words are and he didnt necessarly have to say it,i could feel the difference and lack of emotions in the words Love you..Overtime it dwindled...I was losing him and there was nothing i could do about it...
      
         In my moments of sadness, he abandoned me, and I was all alone.I needed him to be there for me but he left.i have always been there for him for 4 years and just when i needed him to be there for me,he wasn't,i guess i shouldnt have been surprised as he had never been there or had my back throughout the entire relationship,But you can't blame me.i had seen his beauty and what he could do when he wants to be a darling ,i see the light in his darkness,it makes me constantly hope for the change,the next curve,the next bend where he would come back to me and when he didnt,the self loathing and hatred began.
      
  

                                            


Hell is a place for those beyond redemption,i was in one and knew the feeling.This young man deserves to be in hell,i know he would have many friends there,he is like a little demon,a little squirming bug that catches you when you are defenceless,sneaks a bite at u and runs into hiding.I do not hate him,i just pray karma fucks him up as much as he fucked me.,So fuck him,fuck his little spineless games,fuck his self righteousness,fuck his life,fuck his existence,may he burn in the fires of hell,

The waves of self-hatred and regret crashed on me like the tsunami, destroying all hope.
I drifted in the turbulence of torment, and struggled to stay afloat, flooded by the swells of my tears. I was lost in the current, unable to see solid ground.
I feared I would die, and was overcomed with the regret of my life, and the position I was now in.

       I do not wish him bad anymore,After a divine intervention i realised I no longer need or want this man whom I thought I loved so much. I have something better, that is not based on need. I have love – true, unconditional love.  
      
       This man, whom I loved so much, did not love me. He couldn’t, because he had not love in his heart, as real love comes from God. He despised God, and had closed the door for God to enter.
He used me. He manipulated me.A selfish self centered spineless fool,who took me for a fool and played me. He took advantage of my vulnerability but he is just human and i dont blame him,he is not enlightened and i dont judge him for his ignorance.he is just a phase i had to pass through to get to where i am now.A place of unlimited hapiness and a love so supreme its power still amaze me.
       
             But I still love him, because I have the love of God within me, and my love is real, unconditional, forgiving, and pure. I do not judge or condemn. I want for him to know this, and I pray that someday he will come to know this for himself, as even he is worthy of God’s love.The love we give away, is the only love we keep...To love is not to look at one another, but to look together in the same direction

Oh, and did I mention the name of the man?
ADDICTION